Bonjours, mes très chères amies. J'aimerai avoir un correction à mon rédaction de texte en Anglais. Le voici : WRITING /10 Sujet : Online shopping - What is you
Question
J'aimerai avoir un correction à mon rédaction de texte en Anglais.
Le voici :
WRITING /10
Sujet : "Online shopping"
- What is your opinion about online shopping?
- Is it fashionnable nowadays?
- Do you do your shopping on-line? Why ? Why not ?
- What are the products you would never buy online? Why?
Write about a paragraph of 10 to 15 lines. (Do not forget your introduction and your conclusion.)
INTRODUCTION
Firstly, we will introduce you the meaning of the expression “online shopping ''. “Online shopping '' signify making purchases on the internet and not in a real shop and buying those product with a credit card.
My opinion on online shopping is to check the information posted on the internet to the head ? of the store that sells those products, to avoid stealing the money found in our bank accounts. After, we will find several individuals who buy products on the internet. According to INSEE "in 2017, 78.6% of individuals aged 15 to 29 living in an ordinary household in France made at least one purchase on the internet in the last twelve months."
And personally, I do not buy products on the internet, firstly, because I do not use the internet that much and also I do not know the seller who sells the products on the internet and I want to go out a little to buy the consumption products at shopping centers.
In the end, I do not want to buy products that are very expensive (like a car or a plane ticket) on the internet because I do not want to lose a lot of money.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, I would like to say that buying things online has a disadvantage that someone can steal our money quickly when we buy products online.
And I encourage my friends not to buy anything too fast on the internet but to start by seeking information from the store manager, that is the way to say no to the scam on the internet.
Bien à vous.
1 Réponse
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1. Réponse Zitoun
Firstly, I will introduce you the meaning of the expression “online shopping ''. “Online shopping '' signify making purchases on the internet and not in a real shop and buying those products with a credit card.
My opinion on online shopping is to check the information posted on the internet to the head ? of the store that sells those products, to avoid stealing the money found in our bank accounts. After, we will find several individuals who buy products on the internet. (je pense que tu devrais reformuler ce passage je n'ai pas compris ce que tu voulais dire) According to INSEE "in 2017, 78.6% of individuals aged 15 to 29 living in an ordinary household in France made at least one purchase on the internet in the last twelve months."
And personally, I do not buy products on the internet, firstly, because I do not use the internet that much and also I do not know the seller who sells the products on the internet and I want to go out a little to buy the consumption products at shopping centers.
Finally, I do not want to buy products that are very expensive (like a car or a plane ticket) on the internet because I do not want to lose a lot of money.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, I would like to say that buying things online has a disadvantage that someone can steal our money quickly when we buy products online.
And I encourage my friends not to buy anything too fast on the internet but to start by seeking information from the store manager, that is the way to say no to the scam on the internet.
tu devrais remplacer les "do not" par "don't" c'est plus naturel.
Essayes de reformuler certaines phrases car elles sont pas naturelles mais sinon c'est cool.
J'espère t'avoir aidé